Dial 1010-1999-2000....

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Culled from the residents of Arroyo Vista House 1010 during the 1999-2000 school year. Sad to say, we couldn't find dates for most of these quotes, so I suppose they're condemned to a lifetime of Friday nights sitting at home watching TV by themselves.


A bitched-at pot never boils.
Alex
If you already don't think you're perfect, you might as well play Scrabble.
Alex
If you can spell 'blow-job,' I'll give it to you.
Alex
You make me unreasonable.
Alex
Not only did she get the piles, she got double taxes.
Alex
You haven't experienced life until you have experienced Gary.
Alex
Destroyer of panties?
Alex
Is there anything wrong with fucking everything?
Alex
What is it with you and ass demons from other countries? ...international ass demons.
Angela
There's 1.5 people in China.
Angela
A really weird heart... a heart with fur.
Angela
...That's your little nitrogen-fixating nodule. Just in case you become a plant.
Angela
"I should be a porn star."
"No, you shouldn't.
Angela, Alex
"I'm going with cockroaches."
"Where are you going with cockroaches?"
"Trust me, you don't wanna know.
Angela, Katie
You, plus sign, me, equals sign, us.
Anonymous
Grrrrrr...
Chinako
I like to pull things out of my butt.
Chinako
Ooh! You're watching the deep frying channel!
Emily (4-year 1010 resident and Gary's gf)
So, George Washington is Satan.
Gary
There's only one quote from me on the quote board!
Gary
Patrick, you seem to have forgotten that you're doing my midterm.
Gary
Stop grabbing Alex's ass.
Gary
Real life is just a forum for video games.
Gary
You improve the lives of the people, you improve the lives of their pets, that's what I've always said. Trickle-down pet-economics.
Gary
I don't feel sorry for the cows.
Heidi
You belittle my rice?
Jason
...Free-floating gender anxiety?
Jason
Matt has a head-shaped elbow.
Jason
Kelson's drink keeps following me around.
Jason
Look, I'm sorry I made you have a transaction.
Jason
I just wanted to know if he was having a sulfurous day.
Jason
Don't make me kick you in the rice cracker.
Jason
Holy wholly moldy walla walla water... cannon. What??
Jason
"The wild spitting henna cone."
"Which travels with the wild spotted paper towel shred. And the black-tailed toothpick."
Jason, Katie, 2000-01-14
'Jack & Jill' were up the creek / without a freakin' paddle. / The W.B. couldn't see / the viewers were not cattle.
Jason and Katie
If I had the coconuts, I'd do the Monty Python thing.
Joanie
You don't like that I scream 'penis'??
Joanie
We should form a search party and go look for her with a tooth.
Joanie
North Dakota is international waters?
Josh
He has glasses on; you can't trust a guy with glasses.
Josh
I'm pissed off that I'm in a bad mood.
Josh
You don't go to Denny's to eat, you dumbass.
Josh
Floccinaucinihilipilification is a floccinaucinihilipilificatious word.
Josh
I'm not dashing.
Josh
Buy smaller gallons.
Josh
So if you spread espresso on your toast, your car will blow up.
Josh
Stop twisting my words the right way.
Josh
Shoot me \-\- with chairs?
Josh
You can't have pure water. It dissolves in itself.
Josh
His ass is less Asian than Nathan's.
Josh
It's a lead pipe, just made out of plastic.
Josh
They're prospective students. Floor's too good for them. I say hang them from the ceiling by their feet.
Josh & Nathan
So, she got a nuclear missile up her ass??"
"Yes.
Josh, Gary
"I could be a jerk."
"Understatement of the decade. It's still young, but I think that'll hold up."
Josh, Nathan
You trim my beard, I trim your pants.
Josh to Merissa
We'll go to the f***in' Ritz and buy every f***in' person at UCI a f***in' side dish.
Justin
Mariah, put it away!
Justin
I want to do things with the gymnastics bar.
Justin
Parents and green slime don't mix.
Katie, 2000-01-14
I am not a henna masseuse.
Katie, 2000-01-14
You don't get run over by banana peels.
Katie, 2000-01-14
Satan shouldn't sing in musicals.
Katie
Don't throw cats at me with your head!
Katie
Yes! It's *fuzzy*!
Katie
I have a naked ear. And the other is in a metal bikini.
Katie
I'm really afraid of the long-term commitment of $20 worth of leather.
Katie
I'm not gonna drool on your bunny.
Katie
I don't think Trent would approve of my rolling system.
Katie
I need my weekly gato.
Katie
Don't get caught in my barcode?
Katie
"Sit, Ubu, sit."
"Good mango."
"Arf!"
Katie, Jason
Mmm.... Unicorn slobber. It's the best.
Katie, Jason
You're lucky that Katie isn't here with her notepad to put that in the quote book.
Lawrence
I've never actually been in the Engineering Tower when it was on fire.
Lawrence
Haven't you ever seen a keychain hanging from a fire alarm before?
Lawrence
It just wouldn't be a CHP retreat without 'Amish Paradise'.
Lawrence
So if you're talking counties... logically, Needles is the same distance from La Palma as ? is.
Lawrence
"So you're saying, 'I am appalled at your lack of fill in the blank'?"
"Exactly."
Lorrel, Josh
They are so thin that they wouldn't be fat if they got pregnant and ate a cow.
Merissa
She gives me bits at night.
Merissa
I am a gerbil.
Matt
I'm going to rat-fuck you, Justin.
Matt
Josh, do you want to have a baby?
Merissa
Don't force me to start absolving sin.
Nathan
Oh no. That's worse than stealing a VCR and finding out it's Beta.
Nathan
I don't want to have to sell my soul to Stacy again.
Nathan
Just because I have occasional flashbacks doesn't mean I was there.
Nathan
I'm addicted to breathing. I do it all the time! I do it in front of my parents!!
Nathan
I'm making your nonsequitur a sequitur.
Nathan
Sleep is just a substitute for caffeine.
Nathan
Normally, I'm sentient.
Nathan
Who wants to be the Democratic Party candidate? ...exclusively on FOX.
Patrick
I just don't think PINK is my color.
Patrick
You smell like Christmas!
Reena
It looks like an eel!
Reena
I like to steal things from bathrooms.
Reena
Your name needs to not be Meadow!
Reena
My name is Amit. Not Amita's sister.
Reena
I love my backhand.
Reena
Who are you gonna believe, me or Devil Boy?
Reena
R: "...and what liquor does to most people, you know, talkativeness \-\- Chem is liquor to Patrick."
K: "Apparently, Patrick is your liquor."
R: "Yes, he is my liquor."
(assorted laughter)
R: "No, wait. He is not my licker. He is my alcohol."
Reena, Kelson
There is no 'I' in 'team', but there is a 'me.'
Ryan
My topic would be recreational gynecology.
Ryan
It isn't an orgy, per se, because there wasn't a goat.
Ryan
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

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