K-Squared Ramblings

I can just see the Sunnydale news reports

(Spoilers for last night’s Buffy finale)

EARTHQUAKE DESTROYS CALIFORNIA TOWN

By Kelson Vibber, staff writer

A 5.9 earthquake struck the Central California town of Sunnydale Tuesday morning, rattling windows as far away as Los Angeles and San Francisco and triggering a massive sinkhole which appears to have buried the entire town. In an amazing twist of luck, however, the death toll may turn out to be zero.

Emergency workers dispatched from neighboring communities have reported the scene is one of eerie silence – largely because many of the town’s residents had left over the past few weeks.

A rising crime wave over the last several weeks may actually have saved thousands of lives. An atmosphere of hysteria had descended on the town, causing many residents to pack up and leave. “It was just getting crazy,” resident Joe Sweden told reporters. “Gangs were killing people at night, there was an honest-to-God riot at the high school… We’ve lived here for years, but it just got to the point where it wasn’t safe anymore. My wife and I took all our vacation time and took the kids to visit my brother in Cleveland. Let me tell you, I’m sure glad we left when we did!”

Mr. Sweden’s story was repeated over and over. Reporters covering the exodus, which caused traffic jams for three days the likes of which the city had never seen, found Sunnydale to be a virtual ghost town just a few days ago.

Search-and-rescue helicopter teams have begun combing the wreckage searching for survivors – or casualties. At present, it is not known how many residents were still in town at the time of the earthquake, although the scope of the destruction does not paint a promising picture for anyone who remained in the area.

Geologists at the California Institute of Technology, who measured the trembler at 5.9 on the Richter scale, are still trying to pinpoint the fault along which the quake occurred, as well as the cause of the sinkhole. Very little groundwater is used in Sunnydale, making it unlikely to be the result of over-pumping. The most popular theory at the moment is that a previously unknown cave system may have lain in wait below the city. If this cave structure were damaged in the quake, it could well have caused the city to collapse into the space below.

City employees have cut short their vacations in order to begin tracking down Sunnydale residents. The task could take months, as the city’s records were all kept locally – and many of those records that are recovered are unlikely to yield out-of-town contact information.

Representatives of the University of California were “stunned” by the unprecedented loss of one of their campuses. “We’re still in shock,” a spokesman for the University said. “We’ve been here since 1960, and suddenly the entire school is gone.

“What are we going to do with the students? Now that’s the million-dollar question. We literally haven’t had time to think about it. We lost everything: classrooms, offices, equipment. The best part is that we think everyone got out okay. The worst part is that we have to start from scratch. Do we open Merced early? Do we try to spread the students and faculty around to the other campuses? We just don’t know yet.” A new UC campus is already under construction in the San Joaquin Valley, and is scheduled to open in 2004. The “other UCSD” was best known for its nationally-recognized psychology program.

Sunnydale was founded in in 1899 by businessman Richard Wilkins. In fact, three generations of Wilkinses served as mayor of Sunnydale over the course of the century. The founder’s grandson, Richard Wilkins III, was killed in the 1999 gas explosion that destroyed Sunnydale High School during graduation ceremonies. Despite the presence of a military base (Camp Brendon, one of many bases closed in the late 1990s) and light industry, the city remained primarily suburban to the end.

Big finale….

How did we get to here?
How did this plot appear?
The show’s all done
It was really fun
But I just can’t raise that cheer
Tell me
How did we get to here?

(You better know the tune.)

“Touched”: Getting into the Fray

The first thought I had when I saw the Weapon of Doom was, “A sundial?” Then I looked again and thought, “A gigantic jar opener?” Then Kelson said, “Hey, that’s Fray’s weapon!” and I noticed the blade. (Finally.)

So, if it’s there, and findable pretty fast (since I assume Caleb could shove, if not toss, those barrels aside pretty handily in a minute or less), why hasn’t Caleb gone down and gotten it? Why hasn’t he at least tried to wield it, even if the prophecy says he isn’t supposed to? One explanation: it has the power to hurt evil. (Yes, Great Axe of Hurt Evil (+15, +18). Moving on.) He can’t touch it without getting his First-endowed power weakened, and the First, far from being able to wield it, can’t even go near it without getting seriously damaged. More to the point, if this is the case, this thing can beat Caleb (to a bloody pulp–please!), and insofar as the First can be injured, the axe can do it. All that needs to be done is to disperse the First or break its projection mechanism.

Day 45. Would like to see Jasmine and Caleb on Celebrity Deathmatch. Apocalypse update: still coming along.

Still no Slayer army.

What Has To Be Done

After watching last night’s Angel, I have a new theory based on the question of just what role each person has in the Devourer’s arrival or defeat. After all, Skip told us all of them were manipulated into being where they were.
(Spoilers follow) Read the rest of this entry »

Interconnectedness

It still seems odd that Buffy and Angel appear to be leading up to two completely separate but both major apocalypses. We’re just a few episodes from the end of each season, and it looks like there’s no connection between the First Evil in Sunnydale and the full-up Biblical apocalypse in LA.

Or perhaps the First is doing its work to keep the slayers out of the way of the “real” apocalypse.

Then there’s the question of just who was in on this plot to bring “Jasmine” into the world. It’s implied by Skip that there was a conspiracy to set up the conditions for her arrival… but what if she is one of the Powers That Be? What if, rather than standing for good as we’ve always thought, they stand only for themselves, and pretending to be the good guys was the best way to manipulate Angel and company into doing what they needed?

Consider: the first indication of their existence came in the same 3rd-season episode of Buffy that introduced the First. They weren’t named, but it was made clear that someone had deliberately brought Angel back from the hell-dimension Buffy sent him to, and once Angel left for LA the “who” became clear. On the other hand, the Powers and First were working against each other in that episode – or at least they appeared to be.

And then there’s the question of Fred, whose trip to Pylea was mentioned by Skip as part of the plan, but who appears to have had no significant role in bringing Jasmine here. What if she was covertly added to the mix by another faction as the key to defeating her? Do the Powers even have factions?

Questions that need answers…

Just saw “Orpheus.” On tape.

Okay, no Slayer army yet, but I have yet to see what happens on the Buffy that showed while we were elsewhere. And Willow under a different writer is sort of like Willow on speed.

And where the hell is Cordy getting her clothes? Evil Pregnant Sluts ‘R’ Us?

Lines that didn’t make the cut

PRINCIPAL WOOD: Nice coat. Where’d you get it?
SPIKE: Your mama.

Crazy Ideas

Have you ever realized that an elegant solution to an age-old question was sitting right in front of you? Or rather, had just left town for an undisclosed reason? My point: I think I know how the proverbial “Slayer army” can come into being.

Here’s the problem: Buffy is, for all intents and purposes, the Slayer, but as we’ve seen, when she dies, no new Slayer gets called. The line goes through Faith, who as far as we know is currently in jail. So, barring prison riots, getting any new Slayers by killing off Faith seems problematic at best, especially when you take into account that she’s slated to appear on both shows sometime this season. Doing what some people have suggested is possible, and creating a “Slayer army” by deliberately flatlining and then reviving Faith and each subsequently called Slayer, seems more plausible at this juncture than ever before, given the crowd of potentials hanging out in Sunnydale. But how to accomplish this?

Enter Gwen. We’ve seen her shock Gunn to death and then back to life, and she’s not contractually bound to appear on only one of the two shows. It wouldn’t take much for her to show up, not know anything about Faith, and kill her, then revive her when someone in the hotel goes berserk upon walking in a few seconds later. (Or any other scenario you can come up with, it doesn’t really matter.) Then you get a phone call from Sunnydale saying that one of the potentials just über-whupped a teammate in a practice session, and does Angel know anything? and Faith and Gwen eventually hightail it off to the Summers residence. Presto: Slayer army.

But how to get Faith out of jail? That one’s easy. L.A. has descended into eternal darkness, and vampire armies are looking for recruits. What better place to find people already turned to the dark side than a prison? And imagine their surprise when one of their candidates starts slaying her way out. Now there’s a teaser sequence I’d like to see.

Life imitating art?

The Los Angeles Times printed this on the front page on Wednesday, showing downtown LA against a very red sunset, a result of two days of heavy Santa Ana winds.

Does this remind anyone else of the most recent Angel episode?

“The House Always Wins,” except when Angel does.

Yay me. Looks like the writing-stuff-down-so-I-can-prove-I-said-it purpose of this board is coming into play sooner and more effectively than I’d thought. Not that I like the way the writers brought it about, but I’m beginning to think that to write on one of Joss’s shows, you have to take an Emotional (Manipulation) Intelligence Test. Saying any more in this vein would constitute spoilage, so I’ll just insert my little tag…. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s just like homework, only cooler.

I seem to be having a great deal of trouble with my Buffy. Perhaps it’s due to the fact that my life from 8:15 to 5ish every day is nothing but a collection of deadlines, making them the last thing I want to face when I’ve just vegged out for an hour having my emotions…..manipulated. Perhaps it’s just that I feel obligated to come up with some deep insight rather than just saying “It was cool” (something that gets me finger-tied when reviewing fic as well). Whatever the reason, it’s getting quite annoying to me, and I hope those of you waiting for stuff aren’t too annoyed with me. What I think should work is combining this week and next week for each series, since neither one was particularly brain-grabby for me this week. Except that making the Home Improvement big brother evil was freaky, we think he’s going to become a demon now, and I want to see Gwen (the Gambit in Rogue’s clothing) again.

Feel free to ramble at me. I’ll be grateful.

“Same Time, Same Place,” just a little twisted.

It occurred to me partway through the final segment of this week’s Buffy that perhaps, for a watchers’ council planning to have dinner during the first segment of the episode, linguini hadn’t been the best menu choice.

Eeeyugh.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Deep Down” we’re all a little freaked.

Don’t you just love having your head messed with? And isn’t Joss great at it? Of course, if you’re a return viewer, you know this by now and it’s probably part of the reason you tune in. The season premiere, though, didn’t have a lot of time or latitude to do much but mess with our heads, since it had so many loose ends to tie up. Not a whole lot of hints about the rest of the season, so far as I could see, but still good. What we’ve got here is a bunch of people who are doing things, but generally either being very cagey about their motives or not giving a clue as to whether they have any. In a writing class, this would be unforgivable. On TV, it’s suspense. Read the rest of this entry »

What Lies “Beneath You”

In case you’re wondering, yes, I am planning to make this a weekly column of sorts. And it’s been brought to my attention that maybe I should mark it as containing spoilers, seeing as how some people in some other places might not have seen the episode in question yet, or might have missed it. I understand this. Spoiler warnings will now be conveniently placed before the text of my rambling. Voilá.

I’m beginning to see a pattern here with the chased young things beginning episodes. And I and many others think they’re supposed to be potential Slayers–”Lola” here was a pretty good fighter, the other was in extremely good shape, and Lola actually managed to communicate something, dreamstyle. My first guess as to what was sufficiently beneath and devouring to fit the description was, simply, the Hellmouth. Read the rest of this entry »

“Lessons” and speculations

Yay! New Buffy! And quite promising new Buffy, too. Despite the unpursued beginning sequence and the shopworn “something big is coming” talk, it looks to be more than just an intro for the Dawn/Kit/Carlos (wow, normal names!) trio or an attempt to return to the series’ Sunnydale High roots.

I like Spike with the William hair. William the Bloody Crazy, that is. Interestingly, that wasn’t an option in the survey I saw: unchanged, tortured, superhero, or William? Should get some good lines off him this season. Quoting off-their-rocker vamps is great for scaring your friends. I wonder what he’s been eating? Can’t be too many rats in a new school. Oh, and Harry Potter, anyone? First Giles is “go[ing] all Dumbledore,” then there’s crying in a bathroom that leads to a secret passage opening up, and you have a trio forming on grounds where another famous group once walked. I’m not against this by any means, but if it gets to Dawn going to an international Academic Decathlon with dragons and merpeople involved, I’ll be the first to say it’s gone too far.

It took me way too long to twig to the villain regression at the end. Took me till the Master said it, in fact. But in the beginning, there was Buffy. At least it didn’t turn into Tara–Kelson and I were both afraid of that. But the big questions: is Spike’s headmate, in fact, the seventh big bad? How did it get there? Why Spike? It could be like Buffy’s hitchhiker from the grave, or something different. One of our co-watchers put forth that maybe it’s just Spike’s demon in invisible-friend form, as his way of dealing with the war between his good and evil bits. I like that one a lot, but it doesn’t have much potential. I do find it interesting that Spike referred to “the three of us” as being the only ones who ever come down to his little cell. At the time I thought he meant Buffy and some unseen person (or headmate) as the other two, but now I wonder if he might not mean there’s something besides his headmate in the area–maybe the person responsible for the talisman? (Or the spirit responsible for making Spike put the talisman there.)

Prediction: Dawn will discover Spike. She’s on campus more regularly than the rest, she had a connection with him before, and it’d be interesting to see if the new loony version of Spike can see her as glowing green energy. It’d also be interesting to see if the Villain Morph-O-Matic knows anything about Key powers. (Caution: may be volatile when combined with Slayer blood.)

And they better get Willow back from England before her Paraguayan flowers crowd out the native wildlife.