Something Myth-ing
May 24th, 2004 by Kelson. Posted in Reviews, Sci-Fi/FantasyThings that went through my head while watching Troy:
- That’s a bloody awful lot of ships.
- OK, so where’s Cassandra in all this?
- Gee, the way they’re portraying Agamemnon, I’m glad his wife is going to kill him when he gets home.
- That’s odd, the computer-generated orc army looked more realistic than the computer-generated Greeks.
- Ah, political context. They’re right, it doesn’t make sense to send that many soldiers just to avenge one man’s honor. There’s usually something else going on.
- Where the hell is Cassandra?
- Wait, wasn’t this supposed to take 10 years?
- Aeneas, eh? Nice throw-away line!
- Wow, this Agamemnon really is a bastard. I wish I could remember what happens to Brise– uh, waitaminute.
- Uh, what happened to Cassandra?
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Wow, this Agamemnon really is a bastard. I wish I could remember what happens to Brise– uh, waitaminute.
Oooh damn. Electra’s going to be pissed.
I thought the Aeneas bit was cute. And it was pretty much consistent with what I remember from reference to the fall of Troy in the Aenead. If they were actually going to make a sequel, though, and I had any say in the matter, I’d rather it be the Odyssey. Odysseus makes better jokes than Aeneas.
If they were actually going to make a sequel, though, and I had any say in the matter, I’d rather it be the Odyssey. Odysseus makes better jokes than Aeneas.
Reason #2: Sean Bean would just generally kick ass. Can’t tell anything about the dude they picked for Aeneas.
3: Dead Brad Pitt cameo.
4: Huge caption potential.
5: Whether it’s Henson or CGI, Scylla and Charybdis in the age of LotR-quality effects would rock.
6: George Clooney crossover possible.
7: No way to ignore the gods.
8: More bodies than the last act of Hamlet.
9: Two words: buff suitors.
10: Need to outdo the TV movie version.
Odysseus: It’s not that I mind going to war — not even for Agamemnon — but the commute is terrible! I swear, I’m spending more time at sea than I spent on the actual siege!
11: Circe
12: Sirens
LOL Kelson
Well, Daniel, since you put it that way:
13: Calypso.
14: Nausicaa and the Handmaidens (exclusive engagement at the Phaiakian palace).
NO. No more boring, dull, massacres of the Greek Myths. But the Odyssey would be the lesser of two evils.