Comments on: Harry Potter computer viruses

By: John Nowak

John Nowak — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 03:25:16 +0000

Perfect! Oh, Katie, for the Delores Umbridge virus, you should have ended it with, “…and turns your name over to / reports you to the Department of Homeland Security.” I am only observing, not criticizing. Good work, though.

By: Gecko

Gecko — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 10:44:51 +0000

Harry Potter virus:

Whenever you touch the infected computer, you get a bad case of the Hog Warts

By: Nick

Nick — Fri, 18 Nov 2005 23:21:23 +0000

Voldemort Virus: Comes as only half a virus, and leeches off other viruses. After being deleted 3 times it will… still return.

By: Katie

Katie — Fri, 29 Jul 2005 23:50:48 +0000

Slughorn virus: Submits your address book to Sixdegrees and only sends itself to people within 3 degrees of rich, powerful, and/or famous people.

Horcrux virus: You know it’s out there, and several copies of it too, but you can’t find any because they’re not active yet.

Flitwick virus: Way optimized code.

Tonks virus: Knocks over your Recycle Bin, then changes its filetype.

Hogwarts virus: Has four main attacks, only two of which ever get anything done because the other two are too busy canceling each other out. Nearly impervious to attempts to remove it, but it can be pushed to self-destruction.

Golden Snitch virus: You can’t catch it anyway, so why worry?

Sorting Hat virus: Reorganizes all your files on a 4-pronged tree system.

Neville Longbottom virus: Corrupts all your RAM. Effect is somewhat mitigated by installing Remembrall (TM) 1.2 or higher; however, the virus will eventually delete this program.

By: Kizi

Kizi — Thu, 09 Sep 2004 17:31:01 +0000

Thanks.

By: Kelson

Kelson — Thu, 09 Sep 2004 06:20:34 +0000

Katie says it was in an email, but it's probably archived somewhere. I did some searching, and this list looks about right. It seems to be mostly first season references, though.

By: Kizi

Kizi — Wed, 08 Sep 2004 19:16:17 +0000

Can I have the link to the Babylon 5 viruses please.

By: Kizi

Kizi — Sun, 18 Jul 2004 23:08:06 +0000

Draco Virus: Does nothing but make snide pop-ups for four years. Then inexplicably boosts effectivness of Voldemort and Umbridge Virus.
Fudge Virus: Destroys any attempts to delete Voldemort Virus.
Sirus Virus: Gets deleted in a really stupid way.

By: Kelson

Kelson — Tue, 08 Jun 2004 18:48:13 +0000

It turns out there is a Harry Potter virus, of sorts: apparently Netsky.P masquerades as a Harry Potter game. That explains all the search hits for "harry potter virus!"

By: Daniel

Daniel — Sat, 30 Aug 2003 07:24:26 +0000

Hagrid virus: tracks your online purchases and uses your billing info to ship wild animals to your office or place of residence.

Sibyl Trelawney virus: creates a scrolling news bar at the bottom of the screen periodically predicting your computer’s imminent crash.

Mad-Eye Moody virus: executes virus scan software every five minutes.

Gilderoy Lockhart virus: announces its presence upon infecting your computer and at random intervals thereafter. Does little else, but reformats hard drive on attempts to remove it. An error in its code will cause the virus to delete itself if Ron virus is active.

Severus Snape virus: provides some protection from other viruses but reduces system performance by continuously monitoring activity with outdated, complicated subroutines. Contains code for, and regularly scans but does not display on screen, depressing video files which can only be viewed in Pensieve Player 2.0. Also includes a set of help files that tend not to open.